Things Found In My Yard


Things No Longer In My Yard/Some Very Thirsty Individuals/CSI Shit

As you know, I typically track things in my yard/vicinity of my yard and write up hilariously witty quips describing the events leading up to them ending up in my yard.

Well, for the first time, I’ll be cataloging the story of something that is no longer in my yard.

Last night, I was coming home and saw a can of orange soda next to some circular of some sort.  This, sadly, is not typically blog worthy.  Even as I write this, there is an unopened can of dr pepper somewhere in my lawn buried under a few inches of snow.

However, here’s the real story.  This morning I was met with a mystery.  The can of OPENED orange soda was gone… Vamoose like some houdini shit.  All that was left was a series of clues that indicated that sometime between the hours of midnight and 8 AM, someone was thirsty enough to steal an opened can of orange soda from my lawn.

Note the three photos.  The first, the scene of the crime, with orange blood spilled across the virgin snow, like a scene out of one of those Michael Crichton novels the kids are reading.  The second, evidence of the perp, a foot prints.  And the third, finally, a sloppy and clearly hurried exit from the crime scene, spilled orange soda.

The scene of the crime

The getaway car… foot

And they’re off…

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