Filed under: Functional, Holiday Edibles | Tags: Bounce, Damn you static cling, frozen sweets, insubordination, Javier Escaname, payroll, Reading is Tough, Starburst Induced Frenzy, wrinkle free living
Holy Jeez. I found all kinds of shit in my yard yesterday morning. I’m not sure how to really process it. The items included a starburst, still in the wrapper, a time sheet, and a dryer sheet.
I’d like to think all of it was left by one person.
The time sheet clearly names Javier Escaname as the culprit. He’s an early riser, working 7 to 4PM. So here’s probably what went down. Javier, rushing to work in his early morning, starburst induced high, realized that he had a leftover Bounce sheet attached to his sweater (it was cold), and thought, “damn that static cling.”
And whilst trying to reach for the offending dryer sheet, leaned forward and from his pocket fell his time sheet and his starburst (his primary source of energy).
I’ve decided to attach a photo of me trying to read… in my yard.
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