Things Found In My Yard

Bling / You’ve got to be joking

So I’ve had a handful of people tell me they are going to start planting interesting crap in my yard.  This is the first time I’ve ever wondered if someone is just messing with me.  Yes, you’re eyes aren’t deceiving you.  It is a silver cassette tape covered in rhinestones.

BUT WAIT!  It’s a belt buckle.  Seriously.  I’m going to wear it.  Someone sure as shit should.

I’m going to do something different.  I’d like you, my avid readers (all ten of you), to write the thought process that goes through someone’s head when purchasing said belt buckle… also, extra credit, name a store where you could find something like this.  Once you’ve got your story down, post it in the comments.  I’ll pick my favorite and then give the winner the belt buckle.

Here’s my story.  “oh shit, while I was american eagle outfitters yesterday, I saw the most fetch piece of bling I could ever imagine.  It was a cassette tape with rhinestones.  Now I finally have something to draw attention away from my camel toe.”  Hopefully you can do better.

80's Bling


To all the single ladies…
September 15, 2009, 10:29 pm
Filed under: Fashion | Tags: , , , ,

This gem was sitting right by my gate.  At first I thought it was the remnants of a ring pop or something, but when I investigated, I found something much less edible: This pink number with lips on it.  Yes, that’s glitter

Sidenote: As I was walking in my door, I heard a man down the street refer to himself as the N-word, as in “I’m the N that fucked you up.” Mind you, he’s latino.  If I could record this shit, I would.

With this ring...