Things Found In My Yard


I found a fortune cookie fortune (there has to be an easier way to say this) in the yard yesterday.  As with most of those fortunes, it was optimistic.  “The sky is the limit this month.”

Although I personally prefer the more colloquial “The sky is the limit this month… in bed.”

I, however, was left with questions: “this month.”  Does it refer to January?  Feb?  Are we talking yesterday through February 26? So many things to ponder.

And really, I need a universe to hone in on what’s going to be so great about “this month.” job? money? will I will the lottery? Take a vacation?  Work with me, people.  I just can’t imagine “this month” is going to be some madgasm of an explosion of happiness on all fronts.

huh, maybe I didn’t find optimism in my yard.


Leaves/More proof that I’m a shitty neighbor

This whole blog started with a homeless man sleeping in a neighbor’s front yard.  I, like any other terrible person, decided to live and let live, took a photo and went back inside where I prepared refreshments and watched South Park.  I guess you could call me a “hands off” neighbor.

Another things my tender fingers haven’t touched in months is neither a rake nor a lawnmower.  My thought, live and let live, those weeds have every right to be there.

This morning I was walking out to my car and noticed that both of my immediate neighbors have done a fabulous job of keeping their now dying lawns pristine.  If you look below you’ll see a very clear property line where my one neighbor’s lawn starts and mine ends.  It’s reminds me of  when the Pope split up South America with The Line of Demarcation to give Brazil to Portugal and the rest to Spain: Brazil stayed well manicured, hairless even, while the rest of South America fell prey to cocaine dealers and hippies hiking the andes mountains.

I guess this is why I find random shit in my yard…

The Battle Lines Are Clearly Drawn