Things Found In My Yard

Tuesday Night Delight

As I’ve mentioned in the past, Parking is a contentious issue in my neighborhood.  I shy away from parking in Lois’ spot because I don’t want to have any arteries severed.  I haven’t, however, laid down the law about people parking in front of my house, mostly because I’m a pussy and would probably get cut trying to keep someone from parking in front of my house.

And I’m very against getting cut.

Clearly, just a tender soul that wasn’t made for Ghetto Living.

Anyway.  Last night as I’m headed home, a dodge durango is parked in front of my house.  I’m a bit annoyed, but mostly in that “not going to do shit about this” way.  As I’m walking into my house, I realize that not only were there people in the car, but there was definite swaying action going on.

Now, I can only speculate.  It’s possible they had their Jack LaLane juicer in there and were making smoothies and the swaying action was from a team of lumberjacks sawing into coconuts.  But, given that the windows were a bit foggy, I’m going to assume there was something else, more lovemaking-esque going on.

Perhaps this solves the mystery of how condom wrappers end up in my yard.



Ad for Free Genie Child
September 4, 2009, 7:31 pm
Filed under: Living | Tags: , , , ,

To the untrained eye, this appears to be something from the Sunday paper… but I know better.  It’s an advertisement for a free genie baby.  Perhaps we should contact Brangelina.

Gypsy/Genie Baby

First Guest Submission – Annual Child’s Celebration
August 30, 2009, 4:22 am
Filed under: Living | Tags: , ,

So I come home from a run to the sound of a large fan in my back yard.  Upon investigation, I find that the neighbor has set up an elephant shaped moon walk!  All I can really think is how many small children are going to be spending their day screaming in my neighborhood and how my plans to work around the house have been foiled because the thought of screaming children does not sound appealing.

Elephant Jumparound

Via: Chase, Mayor of Pruderia.

Homeless Man – August 3
August 14, 2009, 6:30 pm
Filed under: Living | Tags:

Well, this technically wasn’t my yard, but I’m claiming it.  I kept my distance, but you can see him sleeping in the shade.

Calm as hindu cattle.

Homeless Man